Ups and downs..

lunch this Monday.

I went from being on top of the world last week to feeling very low this week. The stressful period that I went through last semester is in a way still lingering, and I find myself constantly stressing about all the things I have on my plate. It's school, tons of homework, my internship, working out, writing and reading assignments, applying for jobs in Sweden, trying to relax to not get my blood pressure up, and just coping with the thought of me leaving this place that I love to death. I actually have tears running down my cheeks as I am writing this. Yes, I'M A MESS.

should buy one of these..

So I apologize for this post, that i can't be the positive Malena that I usually am, but I'm only human and I am not feeling well. Last night I had two dreams that really relate to how I feel. In the first one, one of the trainers at my gym held my head under the water surface so I couldn't breath and I panicked, tried to scratch his face and kick him but he is so strong that I was completely helpless. The second was was me back in Sweden, working as a cashier in a supermarket, and I was so unhappy that I cried the entire time I sat there and scanned all the food that the customers were shopping. In that dream, my biggest regret was leaving California.

This is stuff that we all have to deal with. Nothing lasts forever, and I am about to move on to a new chapter in life and it is incredibly hard for me, even though there's 3,5 months left.

Lotusland yesterday with my Lab class.

I am leaving for New York to see one of my best friends next Thursday and that will be a much needed break for me, although I am already stressed out about missing HW time when I am there. I will try to talk to my teachers to see if I can start preparing the upcoming homework assignments this week..

I hope everyone else is feeling fabulous and enjoying this great Santa Barbara weather. I'll try to feel better and be positive in my next post.

Malena