What is real?

My feelings about moving back home are changing rapidly. I had some sort of epiphany this weekend and I sort of panicked a little bit. It suddenly became real. I  am  not  going  to  live  here  anymore.
This gorgeous town that is my home, more than my hometown is my home.

farmers market

farmers market

This weekend was one of the best weekends since I came back in January. Me and Kirstine went to the food fare at Antioch and ate tons of food, and it was so good. Then we went down to ArchRock and had a few glasses of wine before we left for Sean's art show at DNA. It was packed as always, and we had a lot of fun. Met some nice people, mingled, and had some cheese haha.

farmers market

 Saturday we walked down town and bought some take away tea and went to the farmers market which I love. You get a certain feeling when you walk around the farmers market. After that I felt like I had to clear my head so I went for a long walk to East Beach and back, just taking everything in.
And after that I went to Leadbetter and just relaxed for a few hours.

Sunday was probably the best day of this weekend though, since we went sailing! It was the perfect day for a sail and me and Kirstine had a nice relaxing day on the boat with some wine and cheese again.

I feel completely relaxed this week, and I know it is because of the homework my english teacher gave me: have fun Malena. It might sound weird, but he gets me. He gave me the best HW he could possibly do, because he knows that I study really hard and that sometimes you have to just let go and relax, so that's what I did! And I feel like a new person. I feel like me again and I love it.

So to the question What is Real? Are the feelings I have toward moving back home now real? Or are the feelings I had a few weeks ago about wanting to start a new life real?
You know what, time will tell. Santa Barbara will still be here, and so will my hometown. What matters is what my heart wants.

Have a great week!