In my confused mind

Hi!

the new public market

Hope you all had a great weekend! Mine was good, I met a lot of nice people and tried out a new dinner spot! Hungry Cat on Chapala. I liked it a lot actually! It's a really nice place, who specializes on seafood. Me and Louise had the chicken sandwich though and the waitress laughed at us, but it was really delicious! We shared a bottle of wine and were the last guests to leave the place around 11 pm. She went out, but I got in a cab and went home, I was too sleepy and didn't feel like going out!

This weekend was Earth Day festival in Alameda Park! I went there with Kirstine on Saturday and it was nice. There were a lot of people and different things to do and eat. We stayed for a while then we went across State Street to West Victoria and stopped by the new market the "santa barbara public market". You have to go if you haven't already! I absolutely loved it.

public market

On Sunday I decided to take a long walk in the sun, before I skyped with my younger sister who I miss like crazy! Then I went to the gym and after that I went down to leadbetter for some much needed relaxation on the beach.

public market

 I feel like I am constantly moving from outgoing and happy to introverted and closed. I have so much stuff on my mind that I really need to clear. Although I don't think I ever will. My heart is screaming: Stay in SB. My brain is telling me to move back home and try to live a "real life" in Sweden just because that is what I should do. Once again the shoulds are taking over. I think about people back home who I might disappoint if I don't stay in Sweden and that is killing me. I am mad at myself for putting me in this situation where I no longer feel like I alone am in charge of my decisions.

This is a difficult thing guys! I am really struggling and right now I am looking at registration for summer school classes. Everyone that knows me know that my entire life, I have been a person who make decisions and just stick to them. Since I moved to SB, that has changed I'll tell you.. I am horrible at making up my mind and I am so scared of making the wrong decision. I feel like when something is completely right for you, you just know.

I'm so sorry for going on and on about this, but it's taking up a lot of my mind. But, there's only 3 weeks left of lectures! Which is crazy, and I always get amazed by how quick time goes by.
And on Friday we are having our last blog meeting and a little pizza party that I really look forward to! I only have 3 more days left at work.. that is sad, I'm gonna miss you all so much!

Much love,